Don't sit there and feel sorry for yourself, Get up, turn it into something good =)

Dear God

Her prayers were not the usual prayers of a 5year old little girl, that God was use to.......

this lil girls tears ran like heavy rainfall as God recalled

Dear God, please I don’t want a new doll I don’t want nothing at all.......I just want to survive the next nightfall

He's coming! “Why is this happening” I begin wrestling, sweating …....I cant breathe ..Cant he see!!

He's gonna kill me, it hurts so bad!, “How can this man.... be a dad” How can people not see he is so bad!

“I just want my mom”..............“Wheres my mom?” …......GONE!! …............always GONE!!

Please help me!, …........are you there,God?, …..................are you even real at all?

Why me God? What did I do? All she ever prayed for.........was to be rescued

Dear God, Never-mind after this night, I've changed my mind. I don’t want to survive…...just let me die.......... just take me away….hiiigh to the sky

Please God, I want to just die! Please God JUST reply!! ...I promise to never again ask “Why”

Please God, one of us has to die, because I cannot survive another night

~God cried as he replied~”I am here my child, I have always been here my dear and this was my worst fear”

“Just hold tight lil girl” because He knew it was gonna happen again tonight

“Just hang in there” ….....He wished it was all just a nightmare because watching this, EVEN he could not bare

God? My grandma says that you care, So why is my young life so unfair?

Why cant anyone see him, God! Just kill him …...or me ….... because I feel so dirty

Please My child, with me don’t be angry, for you will see …....He will pay indeed

You could never see me and yet, you pray.....I will surely reward you someday........... but for now you must continue to pray

Because~ It's not your a freshmen that your beautiful life will begin and you will get the chance to make it right again

Dear God, Today is that day! Today is the day you promised me would come

But, Then then again........... YOU knew ….all along

He is Beautiful, when he cry’s ….........its like a beautiful song, 9months was too long....in my arms is where he belongs and I promise I will never do wrong

Now I know that all that hurt was making me into a beautiful mother …....all along

Dear God This gift and the gifts to come, Please help me to be head & heart-strong and give them unconditional love and show them that they belong

Dear God, Let me be the best Mom I can be, Show me their every need ….until the day they can speak

And God when that day comes I promise to teach them that you and your ways are so unique

For you know Lord that I am not weak & I know you DO listen every time I speak

Yes, Lord I can do this on my own, because I NOW know that I was NEVER alone

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material 

 Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

These five guy's are the reason I breath and the reason I strive'd for a better life

For them I live and I would die. Yes for these five.

 For them I knew I had to survive and Today they are what keeps me alive 

Today I am so Thankful for my beautiful life 

Its all because of Gods grace that I thrive. ♥ 

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material

Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

The mark of the beast

You asked for the truth and I told you,

I saw the wheels in your head turning but I never dreamed of what you would do.

I know I hurt you, I hope you know I never meant to.

I live with the mark of the beast to this day because of what you made me say.

I will never forget that day, the beating, the smell of the carpet where I was left to lay, all the pain that I still live with to this day.

You wanted me lie to make myself look innocent, when I knew it was all for your benefit.

When that day came, I could not let him take the blame.

You said I was a disgrace and you wish Id disappear without a trace.

What you made me say I can never erase, all I can do is ask him for grace.

To this day I live with the mark of the beast, until the day I am deceased.

The “whys” I will never understand, who was I to argue with your command.

I can live with being the “black sheep”, just remember who really hurt who..... so deep.

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

If you only knew.............

I hear a cry, a little girls cry....why? 

Someone help her, go to her......just hold her 

Her pain is real and this  cannot be Gods will

She was to be protcected by you, If you only knew what she was going through.

She crys for you and all you do is argue

she holds out her hands and all you do is make commands

with your anger you get louder and louder while her self estem get lower and lower and her love for you grows colder and colder

If you only knew all she wanted was to cry on your shoulder

If you only knew, If you only paid attention If you would only showed her a little affection you could have changed all this hurt and aggravation

All these years and .........

I still hear her cry in the night and all I can do is turn on the light, because now, now no one can make it right

Whats done is done and God will judge us one by one

for you it is done, for her when the night falls it has just begun..... alllllllll over again.

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Hold On

Hold on to your wishes, hopes & dreams for these things are all that you have, sometimes they are what keeps you alive

Hold on, for you will one day be someones mother, wife and bestfriend.

Hold on because it will be because of all your hurt that a lil boy someday will get the chance to play in the dirt

you will watch him grow, one day from your window you will smile as you watch him mow 

It will be because of all that pain and hurt that he will never hurt, they will never hurt

you'll watch'em grow and smile when you see them flirt all because of "that hurt"

Hold on to all those wishes, hope & dreams for because of these things you will one day get that ring & hear those wedding bells ring 

You will then Thank God for keeping you alive to live this dream

Hold on because all that hurt will one day become as faded as an old tee shirt and all that pain will just be a sad memory of your brain

Hold on lil girl, Hold on! Because of you, the chain will be broken a beautiful family will be woven together and in your home Gods grace will be spoken

Hold on for if you give up Gods plan will be all messed up. Hold on and Keep your head up.

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

Jeremiah 29:11: I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Because of you

Because of you, I live

Because of you I laugh, I hurt, I cry

You are the one who taught me to be strong …....all along

Every blow from your fist, I would imagine a kiss

You are the one who taught me to be hard, with every kick to my heart (literally)

Because of you I leaned to hold in every tear, year after year

Beer after beer, I saw you more clear and the fear Well, that came the day you ruptured my inner-ear

You are the one, the only one,........ I just wanted to be near …..to wipe away my every tear

Because of all your unjust ….I could no longer trust …..later I found out Trust is a must

Everyday because of you I am who I am …...without fear and YES, I am being sincere

Because of you I'm a mommy dear & it's so clear that I don’t have to fear you anymore mommy dear

You are now just a childhood fear that keeps me strong and reminds me that my sons are more important then any beer or bar cheer

Because of you I now run to God when I have a fear, Because he always wants me near

Because of you I am a wife who has a beautiful life …..a much higher standard for life

“You have done the best you knew how”, Well then take a bow

Because you have taught me to live in the here and now,

You can rest easy because I have taught myself how to live now

Because of you, I am today, who I wished you would have been then. Thank you, my next of kin.

~CMSG~  Please Note this is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

My Serenity Prayer

Serenity: I want to remain calm & have a lot of patience when it comes to my extended"family" & dealing with the childhood memories. 

If you have a few "family"members like I do, then you know this is not always easy & If your childhood was anything like mine was then ...and ONLY then, will you UNDERSTAND where I'm coming from

Courage: To Stand up for what I believe and know whats right & still be respectful at all times

This is the #1 rule I have taught my boys.

Wisdom: To know right from wrong, and to have the strength to stay on the straight & narrow in all I do. 

This is easier said then done on most days. But I'm learning.

A lil' about me.......

I just found this Blog thing it seems like a really neat idea. Not sure if its for me but like i said just trying it out for now. I wont spend to much time on here, i wont even promise i will blog everyday, and this could get ugly. I mean my daily life. Im a mother of 4 sons Mario who is months away from 18, Rafael who is 15, and Carlos is 13, and my lil guy Alex is 10. They alone keep my busy! I am also a wife to an amazing husband. Saul. I try to live life to the fullest and make the best of whatever comes up. I am usually up at the crack of dawn, I am not a sleeper I feel like its a wast of beautiful given hours. I love to see the sun come up and go down. When my kids were way little I would tell them "look what God painted just for YOU" a beautiful sky. I miss it when my guys were little as you can see. We do almost everything together, were very close. We are all very competitive. We love sports! Football! Go Nebraska Huskers!!! We also love love love soccer. Then we just a few years ago got a liking to wrestling when my son tried to his freshman year and now Alex loves it also.
I will post some photos later. I live life as an open book. I think you should always stay real and be open and honest with your husband and children. These 5guys know the great,the good, the bad , and the ugly (childhood) and they still love me. They are the reason i live, and I don't just say that. my childhood was and is my reason for living also. Kinda like ...to show people it could be done....the cycle could be broken. Thats a whole other story thou. Well Thanks for reading this I hope to keep this up. I do keep a little note book anyway of everyday things, feelings new and old some friends have called it poetry or poems to me its just writing. Anyway, Thanks & Welcome to My Life! My Blog.